Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
