I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize