Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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