We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize