if you like me you must not know who I am
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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