her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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