discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
