The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Randomize
