btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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