Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
