apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
