i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think people are normalizing furries
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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