dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
