he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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