your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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