As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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