your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
