A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
People in love make me want to vomit
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
