I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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