we have officially lost it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
