Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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