you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize