When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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