So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
