Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
