Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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