And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
