don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
