we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
