Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
