I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
