Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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