ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
