So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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