how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
