the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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