I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
