So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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