Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
