$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
