Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
