what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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