Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
