Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
