wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
