i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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