you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
