"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize