I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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