Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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