Sry I called you an 8
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
