Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
