Sry I called you an 8
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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