The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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