I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
