She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
