Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
