Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
