you didnt know i had herpes?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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